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So, I am feeling very excited about publishing my first blog. Although it isn't actually my very FIRST blog, as it would be if I were a blog virgin, so to speak, since I have written some blogs for blogspot and Wordpress in past years. I just didn't like them very much, nor did I keep up the momentum, if indeed there WAS any momentum. Perhaps it was more moment than momentum.
It is, however, my first blog for my new Lynne P. Hollingsworth Fine Art web site, which won't be a huge revelation for those of you reading this, since you would have to have navigated TO the site to be here to, in fact, read it. However, I am, decidedly, excited! And yet, on second thought, perhaps I shouldn't be feeling excited. I mean, what if no one wants to read it after I publish it? Or worse, what if EVERYONE wants to read it and loves it and then I am expected to publish more and more and better and better? I am not feeling so excited any more. Just feeling a little sick.
Oh, but wait! There are so many topics about which I am passionate! There are so many important things about which one can in fact blog with a vengeance, not the least of which deals with the main focus of my site, a.k.a. " ART”, and the creation OF it. But then, on third thought, as my mind wanders the vast wasteland of randomness, the first subject that comes to my mind, for example, is the question: "why do bloggers and speakers begin sentences with the word “so”, when that word implies a continuation, not a beginning?" Then I look at the first word of my blog. Oh no!
So then I think, well, I promised a blog to my many followers. How many? I have no clue. At least a few. More than ONE? I DO have family. Oh wait, they won't read it, will they? So now I have to make a decision about just what to blog about. And perhaps more telling, what NOT to blog about! I am feeling sick again.
What will constitute the substance, the import, the incredible readability of my blog? I am passionate about self-esteem for women, and children, and people of all races. Ok, now I sound like Miss America making a trite speech.
I am passionate about God. OH, no, I can't write about THAT subject, because all those who believe something else will fail to follow me, and even, (ghastly thought), disagree with me. Of course, I don't know if any one at all will follow me anyway, so no need to obsess about THAT. And as for comments, well, that is what dialogue is about... or should I say "blogalogue"? CAN one say "blogalogue"? I DO feel strongly about following the teachings of Jesus Christ as best I can in my own life, and I believe it is right to stand up for what you believe in, so yes, I WILL write about that since it constitutes a great part of ME, and my life, and my philosophy of moving through this world. Hey, it might even make someone feel better about life, or themselves, or that friend who talks about Jesus! Bonus!
So then I think, I can't write about this or especially THAT because it may offend someone. I mean, someone is always getting offended. Some people seem to thrive on being offended. I suppose the latter could work in my favour! Oh wait! This is MY blog, so I can offend as many people as I want! I mean, IF I ever wanted to do so. Or to state my thoughts more clearly, it is beyond my power to affect their being offended, so what am I worried about? I don't WANT to offend any one! After all, I AM Canadian.
I could blog about Toronto mayor Rob Ford. Nah. Not worth the pixels, or keystrokes. A mayor like Mr. Ford is just ridicule personified, raised to a new and regrettable level. After all, I AM Canadian. I grew up in Toronto. Oh wait, I am not sure I want to confess that, in light of the apparent popularity of a cocaine- taking, foul-mouthed, wife- insulting politician. I mean who would believe that people who are allowed to walk around free from restraints, and to drive dangerous automobiles, actually support such reprobate behavior? Oh, I guess that IS blogging about him. So, I will hastily move on with determination after a regrettable minor digression. There goes 2 minutes of my life I can't get back.
I could write about the Academy Awards, which is a timely topic. I mean 'Oscar” is known by all and sundry, like him or not. I watched this show for the first time in a few years. Then again, the endless list of entertainment shows on the television schedule have slotted that in ad nauseum, rephrasing the obvious and exposing the erroneous. Opinions are scattered, varied, and over-expressed, so no, I won't go there. Further, anyway.
I despise animal cruelty, but then again, who doesn't? Oh wait! From the photos which have popped up on face book, I guess the word 'cruelty' has become a subjective standard, rather than a human one. So what would be the point? We all love the cute kitties and huggable puppies, and smart dolphins. Well, those who do not, won't be reading my blog. I move on.
Back to art, the titled target of my blog substance. Of course the very subject is rafe with a huge variance of opinion, endless vagaries of standards, creative angst that penetrates the very soul of the creative; a mulitiplicity of solutions and directions, ideas and categories, problems and solutions. The creative person runs the gamut from obsessed visonary incomprehensible to most, to the trite prettifier who is scathingly criticised.
The world of art is brimming with fakes and phonies, pontificators and pretenders, critics and contempt. And that is only the ones who write about it! The ones who actually create it, are marginally suffering from varying degrees of dysfunction. They see beauty where no one else can; they feel pain and express it when no one else dares to do so; they suffer the pangs of doubt and yet paint a target on their bodies, as well as on their easels, to better take the potshots and arrows of outrageous criticism and miscomprehension. They weather the climate of judgement with nervous stomachs and damp brows on frequent occasions and sign up to do it all over again; or they forge through with their image of strength girded with performance and stoicism.
Do you think I express this too strongly? Some may breeze through this trial by fire, having found the asbestos suit of confidence, of affirmation, of freedom. Is that not the very thing for which we all strive?
I want to share with you my journey, my observations, my interpretations. They are no one else's, only mine. Some will agree, at least I certainly hope so; some will not. A lifetime of experience and observations, of errors and reconciliations, of searching and grasping at shadows will be the basis of what you will find here. It may be about art; it may be about the challenge and the NEED to be creative. It may be about life around us, trite and sublime. It may be something that touches me deeply and raises my consciousness; it may be that which can drag one down if permitted.
Oh wait! What makes me think I am qualified to write a blog? I mean who do I think I am? Well, let me look at this strategically. I DO plan to be writing about life, and I AM living one! So that fits. And I have agreat many ideas running around my cerebral cortex about which I want to write. I have a lot to say and deserve a voice to SAY it! Then again, there are many out there with nothing to say who talk a LOT! I am feeling a bit nauseous again.
Ah, but wait! I have lived an interesting life, thus far, by any standard. I have lived quite a number of years, so far, and hopefully gained wisdom. I have experienced a multitude of emotions, trials, joys and milestones. I have looked back on the fun in “dsyfunctional”. I have dealt with health issues, and survived. I have dealt with parents, and survived. I have dealt with parentHOOD and survived, so far. I have been a performer, puppeteer and poet. Ok, not a PUBLISHED poet, but still...it rhymes. I have been accused of having great insight, and if indeed that is true, then, wow, that is well worth sharing! I might even brighten someone's day!
So, blog I will. Join me on the journey, the expression, the uncovering before you of that which I have seen and learned and observed, what I have yet to learn, discern and decode. You have a formal invitation. Join my mailing list, please! You might just get something!
And in the meantime, don't take life too seriously. This I have learned over time. Write with passion, paint with purpose, learn with dedication, but laugh with enthusiasm. Life is short, the present, a gift...Live it, and enjoy it.
Oh, and by the way, will someone just tell Justin Bieber to grow up and show some class for heaven's sake?